King Coconut

Sri Lanka is rich with palm trees, more specifically coconut palm trees. Much like my relationship with champagne, I’ve never met a palm tree I didn’t like. But I must admit I am partial to the tall, skinny coconut palms. Dubai has date palms. They are short and squatty. They do provide the decadent date; however, I still like the tall graceful coconut palms best. Call me a palm tree snob or maybe I just can’t get over being cursed with short legs. (I’ve also had good luck with tall and skinny.)

So of course, since the country is known for it’s king coconut trees (a variety of the coconut palm), everything on the bloody island seems to be named after them. King Coconut Convenience Store; King Coconut Ladies Salon; King Coconut Motorcycle Rental. King Coconut Come-On-In. Whatever. Silliness aside, one worthy namesake of the palm was The King Coconut Restaurant.

A short walk from our hotel, the King Coconut wasn’t beautiful, but it was just what adventure hungry, yet amenity-loving tourists like Stan and I want – a comfortable mix of local ambiance with cleanliness standards that don’t make you cringe – too much. The restaurant was comfortably full, half locals, have tourists. There was a funny bar with an odd assortment of whiskey bottles, other hard liquor and some very suspicious bottles of wine. Harsh yellow lighting and hard tile floors, some extension cords sticking out, an odd folding chair; you know, typical Indian Ocean. It was unfortunate the weather wasn’t cooperating for a more atmospheric alfresco experience.

Our waiter was very friendly, and spoke great English. Most of the Sri Lankans in this tourist town of Negombo did. As ridiculous as that is, it always helps. He joked with us about the heat of the curries – surely that gets old. Sri Lanka is just as notorious for their fiery food as they are recognized for their picturesque palms. Stan ordered fish curry, which was served on a cute compartmentalized tin plate. Remember the old TV dinners? A rectangle divided up into little boxes, but where the turkey and dressing would have been, was the fish curry. And where the peas and carrots would have turned to mush was the most delicious coconut raita. The mashed potatoes were replaced by rice. A small box of eggplant filled the cooked apples slot. Potatoes and dal were involved as well. This meal was definitely not on the Atkins diet, yet this Sri Lankan version was a huge improvement.

I ordered the King Coconut calamari. The waiter eyed my white ass suspiciously and said, “Madam, that is a very spicy dish for locals.” I said bring it on. The battle line had been drawn. It was damn hot. And I loved every bite.